Lately I’ve been having trouble acting in my old, not nice ways toward Master. Last week I had bad migraine headaches for several days even taking my extra abortive meds, and then out of the blue developed a UTI. All this put me in a very bad frame of mind, and Master and I have ongoing issues with our daughter which has been on my mind as well. Logically, I know and understand I should be good and sweet to and with Him. I know I belong to Him and I am His to do with as He pleases…. Still, when I’m over-tired from lack of sleep, and ill on top of that, and he desires me to do this or that… I can’t seem to handle it. I want to curl up somewhere by myself with no intrusions of any sort. I want to be in a quiet place to rest. I’ve always been independent and self-sufficient in this way, and not been a cuddler or even desired it. This is one thing Master would like to change, but how to change someone’s innate personality? It got me thinking this week to way back in the day when I fancied myself a poet and I remembered a poem or two I had written on this very subject when I was no more than 18 or 19 years old! I actually found the poems and here is the first. I apologize I don’t know how to use HTML so the poetry does not look the way it should with proper line spacing.
I can’t bear your touch now,
As long as we’re together,
Part of me is prickly and thorny,
And will not hold you close,
Bothered by your cupid’s touch.
When we are content to be easy,
As if love is too comfortable an emotion,
My budding ego is drowned
In the warmth of your care.
In greenhouses, some orchids die,
Killed by the kindness
Of life in a carefully controlled paradise.
So this season,
During a harvest yielding maturity,
Perhaps even blossoms,