The Master Speaks

He’s annoyed with me and my lack of submission. What else is new under the sun? I’m annoyed with his lack of Dominance. He tortured me the other day and it wasn’t pleasant; probably not even for him. Then he spoke at length about the ten ways in which I misbehave which he had asked me to write down a few weeks ago. He noted while I sometimes do obey and am mindful of my submissive behavior better since that little exercise, nothing’s really changed. He wants me to call him Sir or Master and I don’t I guess, because my heart is just not in it…

I wonder why? His dominant actions have not changed either. He went on to say he doesn’t know where to begin with me. He says I’ve told him to give me tasks and that I like pain and humiliation, but he doesn’t know what to do with this information.

SIGH……

I’ve purchased many many books for him/us to read about this lifestyle. I have read them. I’ve delved into the subject online and met many wonderful generous folk who have offered to chat with him and give words of encouragement. I/we have bought toys of all sorts and enjoy using them. The sex itself is no issue. When I told him I wanted this type of lifestyle several years ago (that I had in fact craved this most of my life) he was all for it. He gets very excited when we read tales of other real couples’ journeys. He wonders why I am unable to be more submissive. We’ve done couples’ counseling for several years.

I told him I did not want a Master/slave relationship, and in retrospect, perhaps we moved too quickly in our fervor and excitement. He bought me two different collars, one of which I wore 24/7 for a few years. But it felt wrong to me, because in fact I was not “really” his submissive any more than he is my dominant. I asked him to remove it, and he did. He has never been what one might consider a romantic nor creative man, and it could be said that those traits are key to being a decent dominant. After all, a good dominant must craft a scene and provide loving after-care. He has never done so. His “scenes” if you choose to call them that, are ALWAYS centered around sex, and the after care is limited to a quick wipe-off with a towel.

(His latest craze, which he’s been hung up on for a couple of years, is searching for a suitable cage to lock me in. The idea of this really does not bother me aside from the fact neither of us are youngsters anymore, and what if something should befall him while I’m locked in it? How would I then get out?)

Now he wants me to write again about precisely what I want in this D/s relationship. Do I want to be humiliated and if so, how?  Do I want him to spank me, and if so, with what and when?

{Big sigh again…} Am I protesting too much to say, “enough?” Why am I the one doing all the work to make this work? Am I in fact the one doing all the work, or does it just seem so? Is he just really not capable of being dominant?

How do you know when it’s time to say, maybe we should stop trying so hard and go back to just being “us” but with a slightly kinky side?

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6 thoughts on “The Master Speaks

  1. oh lovely … have you ever come across the slaves prayer … p is back at school after a goos weekend home … apart from a backlog of iroming, i shall write to you … write to me if you have a moment xxx

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  2. It sounds like you two are really going through a rough patch with your D/s. I can empathize with your frustrations…it is hard to be submissive when you don’t feel that your partner is doing their part with dominance. Maybe it’s time to take a break from it? And certainly don’t allow yourself to be caged while you are feeling like this.

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  3. My King and I just went through something similar, we took a break from it. We had too. We really needed to reconnect as husband and wife, as two ppl that were once so madly in love. We needed to really reconnect. And we did we stopped, and when we were both ready to make the needed to changes and put in the needed effort to rebuild our D/s relationship, we did. And we are slowly working our way back into our 27/7 D/s life. We are just taking it slow, being super open, and completely honest with each other. I hope that you guys can find some level ground to get your bearings back. A D/s marriage is such a beautiful thing. But it has to be yours. You have to set your own ground rules and guidelines for your D/s relationship. That it what we learned, we learned to have to stop trying to do what works for other D/s couples, and do what works for us. Good luck to you both. I look forward to watching you grow as a person and grow in your submission! Much love!

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    • Thank you so much for your perspective and kind words, it means a great deal to me. The thing of it is I’m not really sure we’ve ever in fact been a real D/s couple. I like to think we have been so, but His lack of initiative and devotion to his work just made me feel so meh about being truly devoted submissively to him. I KNOW without a doubt he loves me as I do him, but I can’t be submissive to someone who just will not take the reins and run with them. Hugs to you too!

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