Progress

Perhaps some of you may recall the troubles with our daughter. She’s long been a procrastinator dating back to middle school, always putting off assignments and being bored by most of her classes. She barely graduated high school even though she’s extremely intelligent and has taken advanced placement classes and was formerly in an elementary and middle school program called the International Baccalaureate Programme. She dropped this in the 10th grade after having gone all the way through up till then. It was a huge disappointment to her dad and me, of course. Children who graduate from such a program with the diploma have many great opportunities a regular high school diploma does not afford. She also started skipping school and not turning in assignments.

In truth, I think she got this gene from my brother, who also was bored in school and couldn’t concentrate. Her dad and I weren’t like that at all. We were all A and B students, excelled academically and knew we would attend university and have a career. She attended a few college classes and said it wasn’t for her. She could not keep even a part-time job. We had to finally employ tough love, telling her she had to choose  something to do – either work or school or she would lose the car we got for her.  She began a cosmetology school in the town we were living in. It was a 9 month course. At first she really seemed to thrive, but as always, the complaints started. She ended up dropping out much to our chagrin. We told her she had to do something else. She ended up deciding cosmetology wasn’t precisely what she desired, she really wanted to do make-up, or esthiology. She (and we) researched and enrolled her in the Aveda program in Dallas.

I’m thrilled to say although she did need extra time to complete the program, she did eventually finish! Yesterday, she took the last of two licensing exams, and she is now a licensed Esthetician! I realize it’s not rocket science. For her though, and for us, this is a giant step to adulthood. I’m very proud of her.

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4 thoughts on “Progress

  1. Thank you for sharing this. I could have written a great deal of this concerning our oldest son who is now 20. I know he has a lot of life in front of him, but it is difficult when you see what potential they had earlier in life and it seems to have vanished in some way.

    You have given me hope! Now if he will only start looking in a reasonable direction…LOL…oops there I go putting my hopes on him again!

    willie

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s so difficult waiting and hoping and praying. Ours was such an adorable precocious child. I remember taking her to the pediatrician and he was so surprised at the large words she used. He said, “keep your eyes on this one, Mama.” Ha! Her dad and I read to her every single night before bed and she loved it. I was a voracious reader and still am. This girl has never voluntarily picked up a book on her own to read! I have cried bitterly about it. When I see my awesome niece, (4 years older than my girl) who’s now an RN and involved in all sorts of activities and always busy, etc, I have often joked with my mom that she should have been my daughter. Because my brother was so much like my daughter growing up! Did not like to read – couldn’t concentrate in school – not many friends. I’m so happy my niece is such a great kid. Don’t get me wrong; I love my daughter and always will. But she has the potential to be so much more that it hurts me.

      Remember you and his dad have the ultimate control. Don’t let your boy just slack off. You control the food, car, etc. If he wants to live in your happy home in the style he is accustomed to, he must either get and keep a job of his choice OR stay in school. It doesn’t have to be college, it could be auto mechanic school or art school or woodworking or glassblowing. Sit down calmly and find out; where does he see himself in 5 years? 10 years? What does he like to do? Does he want a family or not? If so, he needs to envision how he might provide for them himself. These kinds of discussions need not be had in an accusatory way. Often young people today feel hopeless because they see no direction for themselves. As parents it’s our place to help them figure out exactly where they belong in society – even if that place isn’t where we would like for them to be.

      Best of luck to you and your family. I would love to hear more from you!

      Like

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