What’s in a name?

Something that’s bothered me for quite some time now is quite simply, this:

Ham salad submarine sandwich



                 The USS Topeka (SSN 754)                     SUB



We are submissive in our manner and name. I, for one, do not like to be confused with a sandwich or a ship which is capable of remaining under water for long periods of time. I’m also not “subby” or “subbie”.  Sir does call me sub from time-to-time, and during our next downtime or non-D/s chat, I’m going to share with him my thoughts on this subject. Of course, whatever He chooses to call me is what I will answer to, because after all, I am His.

Where do I go from here?


So you’ve turned toward the dark side.  You and your partner can never go back to your former boring vanilla lifestyle – you’ve set out on this exciting kinky path… but how do you go about getting there? Great question! It would be lovely if there were scores of safe and reliable websites you could click on which have “all the answers” but sadly, it isn’t true. There are a few blogs and sites around, but finding them seems an arduous task. Often it seems the sites/blogs may be up and running well for awhile, only to be neglected as life gets in the way. Or as you become more experienced, you find your opinions diverge with the writers or people running the site.

Sir and I found that for us anyway, reading, reading, and more reading has given us our strongest knowledge base. We (currently) live in a small town where we have no access to BDSM clubs or play parties where we might have a chance to gain greater experience with things we have never used nor seen. We don’t know any other D/s couples in real life. While we aren’t yet sure about the idea of playing with any other kinky folk, play parties are a great way to watch experienced Doms at work. We hope to have this chance someday.

Meanwhile, for anyone who is interested, here are a few of our favorite books:

Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns, by Philip Miller and Molly Devon                                   This book was one of the earliest and best to explain what a D/s relationship is (and is not.) It was originally published in 1995 and is still in print. Truly a beautifully written book!

SM 101 – A Realistic Introduction, by Jay Wiseman                                                                               Anything by Jay Wiseman is straightforward, honest, and well-written. He has been in the lifestyle for decades. A trustworthy and sensible book!

The Ultimate Guide to Kink, by Tristan Taormino                                                                               She has written seven books and is an award-winning author on women’s sexuality issues. This is a wonderful reference book and is a great partner to the book by Wiseman which is more from a man’s perspective. You may also want to check out:

50 Shades of Kink, by Tristan Taormino                                                                                                  This is more of a “newby’s” guide to BDSM, explained in decent, open, caring terms.

The Loving Dominant, by John Warren                                                                                                   Written by another long-time participant in this lifestyle, this is a concise, clearly written book which goes further than most in explaining about the importance of trust, honesty, and love in the D/s relationship.

All of these are easily ordered on Amazon. Happy reading!