Are words humiliating?

Some of my fellow submissives who post more often than I do, have been writing about humiliation. The definition of this word means causing a lack of self-respect, with the root of the word being “humble.” Humble means having a low social rank, or low and modest self-esteem. Just writing this reminds me of the classic novel Charlotte’s Web, when Charlotte writes “Humble” in her web at the county fair. That was such a great book.

The other day while Sir and I were having sex, for some reason I repeatedly urinated while he was thrusting. I assume it was caused by friction from his cock moving across my urethra over and over. We both were unsure if I was “squirting” or peeing, until we finished and I sniffed the towel below me, which was soaked. It was pee. While it happened, Sir called me names like dirty pig etc.

I realize many people are triggered by words like this. And maybe, when I was much younger, I would have felt embarrassed, if not humiliated. Truth be told, words no longer hurt me in any way, and in fact I rather like being called words such as slut, tramp, or pig. Such language sends me into a deeper submissive mind space. I think deep down I do consider some of the kinky things we do to be, shall we say, naughty or socially unacceptable. Notice I wrote “socially” unacceptable. They are perfectly acceptable to me. The fact that others consider these words deeply humiliating and offensive is where it becomes dicey.

Certainly, words have the ability to wound us emotionally – if we let them. The word itself carries no meaning or importance unless we give it such power. I remember when I was little, classmates would make fun of me or even repeatedly bully me for a few reasons. I was born with crossed eyes and had several surgeries to try to correct this. My eyes still had a slightly odd or abnormal appearance until I was decades older and the issue was finally correctable. I even had adult acquaintances tell me they didn’t like it that I wasn’t looking straight at them when we spoke. These things were hurtful and embarrassing to me, because they were not just words – it was really how people felt about me.

Are there certain things, acts, or words I consider personally unacceptable? Of course I have some hard limits. I think as you get older, less really bothers you. Maybe I feel this way because of the multitude of medical treatments and procedures I’ve been through in my life. My mother used to say I had a very placid personality and I think she was correct. There’s not much that truly bothers me except people who are rude, mean, and condescending.

On the other hand, there’s also not a lot that truly excites me! I guess that sounds cynical or jaded, but I don’t think I am. As I ponder the idea of humiliation, I also recall the time we were in San Francisco with another (non D/s) couple. We were walking home from dinner (during which Sir asked me to go to the restroom and remove my panties.) I was wearing a dress. He then reached over and slid a small vibrator inside me. While walking back to our hotel, the bright pink metallic vibrator fell out and bounced on the sidewalk. The other couple were behind us. Without missing a beat, Sir reached down and grabbed it before it rolled away.

I was deeply humiliated, because it happened in public with vanilla friends. Sometime later, Sir asked his friend whether he noticed what had dropped. The answer was no! I think because Sir and I knew what it was, we were embarrassed. The fact is, they had no idea what happened because it was very fast, and also, we were engaged in conversation at the time. Nobody was looking at me and probably only heard a little sound as it hit the sidewalk.

Returning to my topic, yes, words can be humiliating if we accept that whoever uses those words has the intention to hurt us. What do you think?

Have a lovely week!